I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
