Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
