I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
