do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
