Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
porn star boner night. come get it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I will be naked everywhere
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
