Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
