Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
