I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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