All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
