I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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