last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We got so high we made milksteak
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
