Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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