Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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