there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
