Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
