Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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