ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
