well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize