did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
