I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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