We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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