ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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