Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
