maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So much rum. So many feels.
i think my cat just said my name.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
