just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
