do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
