it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
