Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
