It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
