i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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