so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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