We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
