We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize