I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
