its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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