I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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