I bet he comes in French.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize