dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
