I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
