Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
