Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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