We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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