This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
