dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
