So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
