I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
