wake up i wanna do it froggy style
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need a hoe opinion
go on
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
