She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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