are you still at the devil's house?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
