i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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