Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
