It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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