I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
is it fun? or sober?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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