Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
