toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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