Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
