Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
