kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
MIDGETS
????
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
