i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
