so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't think brook has ever known best
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
