So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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